The financial climate may be gloomy, but British bedrooms are sizzling as the credit crunch bites, according to new research....
21/11/2008 21/11/2008 11:53:50
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Love and lust incompatible? 22 September 2008
Romantic love and sexual attraction are not as compatible as you might like to think, according to a relationship expert.
Writing in the Independent newspaper, sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox said that while we might feel love and lust go hand in hand when we find The One, research shows that the two are actually "bitter enemies".
For human nature, love is a problem if what you want is a great time in the sack, while conversely, fantastic bedroom antics do not go hand in hand with romantic love
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Cox explains that when we fall head over feels in love with someone, the old cliché of two becoming one takes place and "our edges seem blurred".
While this might sound perfect, sexuality requires a feeling of "separateness" from the other person in order to be truly successful.
Cox says: "Desire is unfulfilled anticipation. It's at its most powerful at the start of a relationship because we aren't sure if it's reciprocated."
But once our love is requited, the mystery disappears along with the "separateness" needed for sexual success.
She said: "The distance disappears and all the uncertainty, edginess, anxiety and jealousy that kept us in feverish longing is suddenly removed.
"Novelty, risk and separation boost desire. Love wants the opposite, and one destroys the other."
The relationship expert then goes on to explain that non-platonic relationships have both the love/friendship side and the sexual side.
As a couple spend more and more time together and get to know each other more, the friendship side starts to eat into the sexual side, which is why there are older couples who love each other dearly but the sexual side of their relationship has just about disappeared.
The love-lust dilemma is perfectly seen in men's scientific make-up. Cox explains that men's brains are set to lust and love at the sa
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Glaukius was smitten with love for the fair Chrysis who unfortunately did not return the sentiment.
